Sunday 3rd April 2016

Hi Sam, Hope you are well. Missing you lots, I am thinking back on lovely memories I had with you. I was so proud when just before your first birthday the first words you spoke were "daddy dearn" :-) any words at all would have made me so proud but hearing you mention my name with your first spoken words melted my heart, I was no overjoyed and its hard to believe this was over 11 years ago as it seems just like last week I remember that moment. Also the time I was there when you took your first tentative steps, letting go of your little hands and watch you stumble towards me with your big happy smile you often wear. I was also there beside you in the swimming pool when I removed your arm bands and you swam unaided for the first time, shortly after which you were having races with me in the pool and more times than not you win, the little celebratory dance you did lifting the imaginary trophy above your head, such fun. I was there to collect you from hospital as a baby, I was there when you had your christening, your first ride on a train, also on the London underground tube, I was there during your first flight in an airplane....and a helicopter, I was there the first time you saw the ocean, I had to hold you back as you were just a little toddler and wanted to run into it without fear. More recently I was there when you drove a car for the first time aged 11 last year whilst I took you for junior driving lessons, you were so good. These memories are the greatest and will always be with you and I Sam. I want so much so make more happy memories with you and the reason I am not there with you today son is not my choosing but I am fighting in court to be there again with you son, I always want you to know this, I will never forget about you and this is why I write these open letters online hoping you will find them when searching my name on the internet, using a PC at home, in a friends house or at school. I love you son and if anyone says different then they lie and you will need to ask yourself what reason they would say such a thing. Here where I am you can always call home, your bedroom is always ready and I am always here and when we meet again Sam I will be the happiest Daddy in the world. Love you always Son, miss you all the time. Daddy x