20th April 2016

Hi Sam,

I wanted you to see this little picture I have attached as its so very true. I do think about you every day, I wonder how you are getting on at school, I wish you were here for me to see your face and listen to your stories. This is a very important point I want to make to you Sam and this is one of the reasons I am writing these letters on this blog hopping that you will be able to find them, read and know I have never forgotten about you. I am sure there maybe some persons in your life that will attempt to say that I have but I can assure you I have not my son, I will never ever forget about you as you are the very best thing which has ever happened to me, I am your dad as I have said before and no one can replace me. You will still have the memories of our times together too Sam and you know in your heart that you love me too son, never lose these memories or allow anyone to attempt to manipulate then for their own purposes, always be honest, not only with other people but also with yourself too and speak the truth, one day Sam we will be together again, you will be old enough to understand whats happened, I have paper, videos and much more to show you and you will see how I have never stopped fighting to get you back into my life, being your father is everything to me my son, your bedroom is here as this is your house too and always ready for you to come back. Your books, toys and games are all here, the trampoline is still in the garden and there is some many new super places to visit and things to do I want us to see and do. Love you Sam...always and forever and one day you will be back here with me my son. Daddy

Sunday 3rd April 2016

Hi Sam, Hope you are well. Missing you lots, I am thinking back on lovely memories I had with you. I was so proud when just before your first birthday the first words you spoke were "daddy dearn" :-) any words at all would have made me so proud but hearing you mention my name with your first spoken words melted my heart, I was no overjoyed and its hard to believe this was over 11 years ago as it seems just like last week I remember that moment. Also the time I was there when you took your first tentative steps, letting go of your little hands and watch you stumble towards me with your big happy smile you often wear. I was also there beside you in the swimming pool when I removed your arm bands and you swam unaided for the first time, shortly after which you were having races with me in the pool and more times than not you win, the little celebratory dance you did lifting the imaginary trophy above your head, such fun. I was there to collect you from hospital as a baby, I was there when you had your christening, your first ride on a train, also on the London underground tube, I was there during your first flight in an airplane....and a helicopter, I was there the first time you saw the ocean, I had to hold you back as you were just a little toddler and wanted to run into it without fear. More recently I was there when you drove a car for the first time aged 11 last year whilst I took you for junior driving lessons, you were so good. These memories are the greatest and will always be with you and I Sam. I want so much so make more happy memories with you and the reason I am not there with you today son is not my choosing but I am fighting in court to be there again with you son, I always want you to know this, I will never forget about you and this is why I write these open letters online hoping you will find them when searching my name on the internet, using a PC at home, in a friends house or at school. I love you son and if anyone says different then they lie and you will need to ask yourself what reason they would say such a thing. Here where I am you can always call home, your bedroom is always ready and I am always here and when we meet again Sam I will be the happiest Daddy in the world. Love you always Son, miss you all the time. Daddy x