Sunday January 24th

Hi Sam, Missing you Son, hope we can be together again soon. Granny is still in hospital but is feeling better and soon will be back to the care home, I tell her ever time I visit that you send your love and Granny tells me to say she is missing you too. Can you remember when we went to the Bird of Prey centre Sam? You got to hold Zulu the African eagle and you stroked the back of her head. I have a new picture here of Zulu the Eagle for you...

The picture was from their web-site, you enjoyed your visit there Sam, you flew the Harris Hawk, I have that video on my YouTube channel son, if you search on YouTube under Dearns you will find it there and other videos of us having fun together, hope we can get together soon and do some of these activities again, especially the helicopter flight, I had one booked again for us last year but I did not get you to come with me and I did not want to go myself as I have much more fun with you as my company so I will wait until you can come again. Your seat is still here awaiting you Sam, every time I am here in the house and look across I miss seeing you sit there in it.

I want you to know Sam that I love you and will continue to fight to see you, I will never give up and remember if you want to see me or even talk with me over the phone which would make me so very happy you just need to speak to your teacher and ask her to call me so we can talk. I miss you son and need you to know this, always be truthful Sam and never listen to other peoples lies, I am waiting for us to be together again and have fun, I am your Dad and always will be, no one can ever say different Sam. Love you son....Daddy x

Sunday 17th January 2016

Hi Sam, Yet another week and i have not seen you but am constantly thinking about you and love you as always. Your Granny was not well this week. She caught an infection and because of her age it was very dangerous so she had to leave her nursing home to go to the hospital. She has been treated very well there is is now much better. She asks about you often, I tell her that you love her too and just can't see her at the moment for matters which are not under yours control. She understands this very well and sends her love. During christmas I took Granny some photos to hand on her wall, she loved seeing you in the photos.

I found your Granddads war medals, you were named after him as he was calls Sam too, he died 18 years ago so unfortunately you never had the chance to meet him but he would have been just as proud of you as I am. One day these medals will belong to you and I hope one day you may hand them down to your children too. I know you are a very brave boy Sam especially recently and I think you deserve a medal too, I am and will always be very proud of you.

It was snowing here in Falkirk on Saturday, I wonder if it was snowing where you are and if you had a chance to play out in it. When you were younger I use to wrap you up warm and go outside and play in the snow with you. I miss that son, if you were here with me today we would have walked across to the big park and went sledging and had such fun. Always remember I love you Sam and I want to see you. If anyone says different then don't believe them!! Ask what evidence they have for such a claim. Think very carefully son if someone tells you something and can't give you a good answer if you ask why and want evidence. Some people in the world lie for their self-interest, always speak the truth son and never feel forced to do something or not do something you don't want to. If you ever need someone to discuss things with always seek out your teacher at school, tell the truth and your teacher will keep it in confidence which means they will not tell anyone. Always remember son that I love you and want to see you, there is no reason why you should not be able to see me and if you ever want to contact me just speak with your teacher, they have my number and won't tell anyone as this is your right. I love you son, please never forget this. Daddy x

Tuesday 5th January 2016

Hello Sam, I hope you are well son. I missed you lots especially over christmas and the turn of the new year. I thought constantly about you and have bought you some christmas presents which I have placed in your bedroom for when you come back into my life. I love you Sam and am desperate to see you again, I want you to know that I am fighting in court to be part of your life and have never gave up, I will never give up because you are my son and I love you with all my heart and am very proud of you. Your Granny is still in the same nursing home, she has something called dementia which means her mind can't remember things very well and she forgets a lot but she always remembers about you Sam and every time I visit her she asked how you are. She has photos beside her bed of you and loves you very much too.

Everyday I am desperate to see you Sam, your school keeps me informed and I continue to attend parents nights to hear how you are getting on and i am very proud of you. I know you are a great reader, I still have all your books in your bedroom here and added some new ones too which I think you will like. Don't forget to study hard at maths, i know you don't like maths but its important you keep trying son. I love you son and hope to be with you again soon. All my love....Daddy x

Introduction

The purpose of this blog is to write open letters to my son Samuel Savage (Sam) who is currently 12 years old (born 5th of November 2013) I have not had contact with Sam for best part of a year (since march 2015 this now being January 2016) due to what i believe and allege to be parent alienation (I must be careful with wording here as there are legal proceedings current in the Family court I am am obligated by law not to write what is happening. I will also not use this blog as a forum to "badmouth" my son's mother or to write matters pertaining to her. I do have my own views (many which have been proved and very valid) which I must keep to myself here for legal reasons and for my son's sake, but I do have everything everything in writing which will be available to my son once he is older to asks the questions why I was not there during certain times of his life as I will want to make him aware i never stopped fighting for him to be in my life, nor will I ever give up on him, Now, Before or in the Future!!! He is the very best thing which has ever happened to me and I love him with all my heart and soul and he is in my mind constantly.

Sam was born premature, at 28 weeks with 25 weeks growth, born weighing 1 pound 9 ounces which then dropped to 1 pound 7 ounces. He was in the Neonatal ward for 5 months and I visited him twice a day everyday for these five months but now I am not able to speak to him over the phone nor am I aware if he received any cards I send him on occasions. I have been kept in the loop with his school which I am very grateful to his teachers for. I am a father is every way except I have not contact with my son which I am fighting to change as there is no legal reason I should not have contact and I consider myself to be an excellent father which I have proved many times and at every opportunity whilst caring for my son since he was a baby in an incubator.

As I have said before, what I will write on this blog will be open letters to my son Sam Savage, I am aware anyone can read these letters but this is the only format I can do hoping that Sam may gain access to the internet at school or at a friends and if so then googling my name or links via other sites may bring him to this and he can get an update of what is happening with me, his Granny and also what is going on in our life and that I love him and will NEVER FORGET about him!!! These posts may seem simply written but please remember these are being written by me for one purpose and that purpose is for my son to read and know what is happening with his Granny who is now in a nursing home and is 86, and his daddy who loves him and misses him. All these open letters will be printed off as hard copies for him to read in the future as I never want him to be under any illusions that I would ever forget about him. its not the easiest thing to put my innermost feelings out in the open for everyone to read but I am not ashamed to say I love my son Sam with all my heart and I am fighting to have him back in my life as there is a gap here only he can fill again, he must not listen to the voices of other and know what he wants and what is in his heart. I am his daddy, no one can every replace me and no one can replace my little boy as my son!!!!!!!